A Lesson in Flying – I Want a Bumble Ball [poetry]

Laura Bock , , , , , , , , ,
A Lesson in Flying is another piece from the archives of my journals. I wrote this piece before I understood the madness going on in my head, better known as bipolar depression.
Looking back, I think this describes exactly what goes on in my head during a manic phase. Thank goodness I know how to cope with this feeling now, without drugs, prescription and otherwise.
I wrote this stream of consciousness poem at work one day as I sat and stared at Bumble Balls bouncing around in the demo area in front of Kay-Bee Toys in the mid 1990’s.
Enjoy this mini trip into my manic mind…
 

 

SPEED

Zoom

Zoom

ZOOM!

Fly me through the night

Float me away from

This place to a better one

Take my worries and

Toss them aside

(Even if for just 2 hours!)

 

 

Speed

Faster

Faster

FASTER!

I can’t stop now

Just one more dose

And I’ll be set

Eyes wide open

Teeth chattering, grinning away

Gimme just a little more

Take this pain away

 

 

Twiddle thumbs

Twiddle thumbs

Tick

tick

TICK!

Bouncing around

Hitting the walls

Is that my brain or a 

Bumble Ball in my head?

 

 

I want a Bumble Ball

A bathtub of Bumble Balls

That’s what my mind feels like

A hundred thousand Bumble Balls

Bumbling 

All

At once

 

 

Time is going

Slowly…

s l o w l y…

S  L  O  W  L  Y…

Slowing down

Minute by minute

Second to second

 

 

BOOM

Boom

BOOM

Is that the clock

Or is my heart pounding?

 

 

EXPLODE

SPLAT!!!!

 

 

Face smashed into the pavement

Pain returned…

 

As I fall into a concrete bed

I will always wonder

Why

Synthetic joy

Is my god.