depression life on the fly 

Excuse me while I silently scream

Ok, I’m about to get real, deep and personal today. It’s no secret I’ve been battling depression for most of my life. It is an invisible disease that, like others, runs in my family. My Mom-ster obviously has it, in fact she would constantly rant and rave about being manic-depressive when I was younger. I was diagnosed at 19 with not only being bipolar, but also having borderline personality disorder. I treated my disease the same way Mom-ster did – I let the monsters grow and fester inside. After I…

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depression musings on the fly rants 

Masochistic Tendencies

I want to rip my chest open and pull out my heart. I want the feeling center of my brain to stop. I just want to be numb. The people I interact with day-to-day have no idea of the complete fuck up I am. Or if they are aware, they sure do a great job and keep it to themselves. I live with extremes in my mind every day. Today it is just amplified.  It’s all part of the sickness within me. I know this. The demons I’ve conquered are banging…

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