Spiraling Madness [poetry]

I decided to do some writing recently while in the midst of a depression spiral… this is the result.

 

depression cloud

 

The demons are after me tonight
My own personal demons
In my head
Birthed at an early age
They’ve lived here forever
And tonight they are
Twisting and turning
Dancing and churning
Fucking with my thoughts
The logical processes in my mind
Whispering in my ears
Yelling in my mind
Giving me tunnel vision
They keep coming
Attacking
Have you ever swallowed your screams?
Tonight I do just that
The demons they are
Suffocating me
I can only scream in my head
If I let this breath escape me they will
Overtake me
It’s the struggle of having this
Mind sickness
Disease
I did not ask for this
Darkness
This eternal battle within
and without reason
The silence it falls with the darkness
Except in my head
It’s never quiet in moments like this
The spiraling down down down
Further and deeper
Just spiraling
Out of control
I want to stab them
Cut them out
Make them stop
I cannot follow a
Complete thought in
These moments
I’ve been here before
I know the game and how
It’s played
I’m running out of options
I cannot take this
Much longer
This madness has to stop
One way or another