I found myself wide awake at 3:30am this morning; my mind was spinning.
After fifteen frustrating minutes of attempting to fall back to sleep, I turned my light on and stared at my ceiling; that’s when every horrible thought started to flood my mind. I ran the gamut from money to being alone to my health. I started crying – it was all too much. I started to feel like such a failure.
And then I stopped.
I sat up in my bed, grabbed my phone, turned my Pandora to the Calm Meditation Radio station and then positioned into meditative pose.
I closed my eyes, started breathing deeply, concentrating on my breaths, in essence clearing my mind – the clouds started to part and I felt the sunshine and warmth inside my heart.
It didn’t take me long until I found my center.
As my peace of mind-set in, I concentrated on my body releasing all of my stress and tension. I started to feel my strength return; purpose began to course through my veins once again.
I started to visualize…
I saw myself standing on the beach in Positano, Italy – where I was just three years ago. I could hear and see the azure blue waters of the Tyrrhenian Sea crashing against the sandy shore. The words “la spiaggia” escaped my lips.
In my mind, I walked along the coastline, feeling the wet sand between my toes. I spoke to people in perfect and fluent Italian. I walked through the narrow streets, making my way to the top of the hillside town, and then looked out over the beautiful scenery. I could smell the sea air mixing with the scent of lemons.
I smiled with my entire being.
This is where I want to be – not Positano, per say, but in that moment of bliss.
The frustration, sadness and stress of only twenty minutes earlier were nowhere to be found. Those residual feelings of inadequacy and scarcity are not mine anymore – they were part of my former self.
When I finally came back to myself and the moment, I found my mind, heart, body and soul filled with such wonderful energy and zest for life. I sat there smiling, feeling refreshed. I will take this with me today.
Nothing and no one – not even my past – will rob me of my bliss ever again.