I cannot explain the feelings inside when I sit down every Saturday morning here at The Slow Train Cafe in Oberlin.
Today, smooth jazz plays over the sound system and as I sit here sipping on my hot dirty chai, I experience a strong feeling of déjà vu.
I know that I’ve done this before as another person, in another place and time. I have goosebumps and the feeling of nostalgia overwhelms me. Tears are welling up in my eyes.
I am so very happy in this moment.
I’ve heard it said before that the feeling of déjà vu is yourself from a past life leaving you energy markers, to let you know you’re on the right path in your current life.
I know this is where I am supposed to be without these reminders, but it’s nice to have that reassurance.
The weather outside is turning to fall ever so slightly. There are still remnants of summer humidity, but the sky is grey and cloudy. The grasses are still lush and green and the leaves are starting to prematurely change. I must breathe in and store up these beautiful vibrant colors of Autumn to get me through winter.
Even though I made peace with winter last year, I am not looking forward to another long, cold winter, with its biting cold and crazy snows.
I must admit though, that deep down inside, a small part of me is looking forward to winter this year. Most of the changes I made last year were during those cold and snow-covered months.
I cannot wait to see what changes and lessons this winter will bring me.
My thoughts now take me back to a time not so long ago when I only dreamed of doing exactly this every Saturday – and here I sit, my weekend home away from home.
I now send it out to the universe that I want every day to be like this for me – creative, centered, and most of all, happy.
I want to work for myself – a successful and artistic entrepreneur creating edgy art, writing great prose and photographing stellar photos.
This is my life. This is my bliss. I am exactly where I need to be to feed my creative soul. This town, this place, these people that surround me, who are all but strangers to me – this is home.