Dodging a Bullet

broken hearts paper

Have you ever had your heart broken?

I’m sure you have at least once or twice; it’s the worst feeling in the world isn’t it?

I’ve had more than my share of heartbreak over the years. It’s such an all-consuming feeling and nothing can stop the pain; especially when it’s the heartbreak of a broken relationship with someone you loved.

The heartbreak of an ended relationship is hard to cope with for anyone. That heartache and pain makes you work your way through the stages of grief, as if you’ve lost a loved one – well, technically you have, just not to a physical death.

As you work your way from denial and anger and move on to bargaining and depression, sometimes it’s the last step that’s the most difficult – acceptance.

Acceptance is a hard step to master; it means you’re ready to finally let go and move on to something new. Change and the thought of having to get back out there and meet someone new are scary to some people. Sometimes we even fall backward and have to make our way through the stages of grief all over again.

There are those who choose to stay stuck in the past, wallow in their misery, and pray to be reunited with the person who caused their heartbreak. I was no exception and spent many nights praying, especially with my most recent break-up.

praying womanDay after day and night after night I prayed, “Please, let my relationship be restored!” It seemed for the longest time that universe wasn’t listening to me and that my prayers were all for naught.

One day I decided to change my prayer to “Please, lead me to the path that is best for me.” It was as if the blinders disappeared from my eyes; I saw such a miraculous change in my life so quickly, just by changing the wording.

My ex no longer occupied my thoughts and I was able to store the memories away in my heart and mind. I was finally accepting and moving on. I felt stronger than ever; it was the fastest I had ever recovered from a break-up.

The odd thing is that you might say and feel that you’ve accepted the loss and heartbreak, but it isn’t until you experience that “Aha!” moment, will you finally achieve it.

freeThat “Aha!” moment is different for everyone; for me, most recently, it was seeing  the damage my ex was still causing in his relationships. Here he was, a year after our break-up and now in a committed relationship, still not able to remain faithful; deceiving his new woman and leading her down a similar path to the one I found my screeching dead-end halt on.

If that were me with him now, after forgiving and trusting him all over again, I’d be mortally wounded – not because of his obvious lack of ability to remain faithful and true in a relationship, but for my naïvety of allowing it to happen again by the same person.

I smile with delight that this is not me.

Do not get me wrong, I feel horrible for the poor woman he is doing this to and I wouldn’t wish that kind of heartbreak on my worst enemy; she obviously has her own lessons to learn from this relationship, as did I not too long ago.

I smile now because I know the universe had reasons why my prayers of “please let us get back together!”, we’re left unanswered.

cheat quote

I miss my ex at times, we had a great relationship – well, I thought we had a great relationship. After you find out about one lie, you then start to doubt anything that was ever said and done by that person.

It still saddens me that it all ended, but I now know it was all for the best. I also know and believe that when I am ready for it, the universe will move and shift to bring a man into my life that will treasure me and our relationship.

My ex was more concerned with seeing if the grass was greener in other pastures, and it seems he’s still that way; he cannot stop looking to see “what else” is out there, like he’s afraid he’s missing out on something.

My message to him is that if you do not learn from your mistakes, you are doomed to keep repeating them. In the future, I hope he finds that one woman who will satisfy him wholly, and turns his vision to her alone.

Looking back, I’ve dodged many bullets over the years thanks to the universe not answering my prayers. From relationships to employment and basic life drama, I am blessed and thankful for my many unanswered prayers.

Have faith when your prayers aren’t being answered – they will be, just not in the ways you expect. Remember, the ultimate outcome is always for your greater good.

Relax and trust in the ways of the universe, it really does know what it’s doing.

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