depression musings poetry 

Depression Madness

The demons are after me tonight My own personal demons  In my head Birthed at an early age They’ve lived here forever And tonight they are Twisting and turning Dancing and churning Fucking with my thoughts The logical processes in my mind Whispering in my ears Yelling in my mind Giving me tunnel vision  They keep coming Attacking Have you ever swallowed your screams? Tonight I do just that The demons they are Suffocating me I can only scream in my head If I let this breath escape me they will  Overtake me  It’s…

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depression mix tape music 

Fighting for Happiness

  I used to say January was the hardest part of winter to get through because it is so cold, the days are short, and it seems like the sun will never shine again.    However, after some consideration, I think the hardest part is the end of winter, with the roller coaster of temperatures and mixture of rainy and snowy days.  Welcome to bipolar weather Ohio, also known as March. Right now it is 21º, with a projected high of 28º today – just a few days ago it was…

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depression life 

Negative Reviews

“Why is it that we only seem to believe the negative things people say about us, no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary? A neighbor, a face, an ex-boyfriend can cancel out everything we thought was once true. Odd, but when it comes to life and love, why do we believe our worst reviews?” ~Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City     Negative reviews… I’ve thought a lot about this quote from Sex and the City over the past few weeks, as I pushed myself through another depressive…

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classic alternative depression life music 

I’m Fine.

I’ve been wanting to write this piece for over a year now, but kept putting it off because I didn’t want to bring these realities to life, or to revisit them. After further consideration, I believe these are things that need to be said. I’ve seen the countless memes, the series of photos about mental illness in general, but more specifically depression and anxiety, and I always share them so others know the struggle – but it is just a mere glimpse into the black hole of the abyss. So here…

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depression gothic industrial life mix tape music musings 

Dancing With Depression & Anxiety

  My nights out dancing at the 80’s music revival nights are bittersweet at best these days.   On one side I am enamored by the music of my younger, more carefree days. I get lost in the song and dance. At times I close my eyes and imagine I am still that young, naïve, and lost little girl, reveling in hearing nothing but the melodic whispers of youth, and a future filled with hope. When I attend these events, I almost always recognize a lot of faces – mostly from…

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