Summertime Sadness

September 15, 2016July 2, 2020 Laura Bock love, lust, mixtape, notes on my iPhone, playlist, random thoughts, Relationships, Summertime Sadness

Cleaning through my notes once again on my iPhone and iPad…

The following are snippets about love, lust, and relationships I made sure to jot down over the years, as to not lose the thoughts and possibly (someday) use them for writing prompts. I’m not one to let words go to waste, so consider this Meteorites Part II.

The title of this post is courtesy of the Lana Del Rey song, Summertime Sadness, which is very heartfelt and kinda my theme song these days. Also, the playlist that accompanies this post goes out to all the guys I’ve dated over the years, who both inspired and contributed to my sometimes cynical outlook on relationships, and a closed-off heart.

Time to purge these feelings before the full moon eclipse tomorrow evening, and what better way to do it than to post them here. 🙂

I love my alone time, I really do, but sometimes I’d love to come home to a man waiting for me. A man who will hug me tight when I come home from a day of solitary pursuits and want to know all about my day – but will completely understand when or if I don’t want to share my thoughts. Unconditional love. I’ve never had that. All I get are guys who get all butt hurt if I want to be alone or if they aren’t in the spotlight. Fucking narcissists.

Simple yet complicated.
Not everyone will do.
Not just anyone.
Not just someone.
Just tired of settling.

“Let me fix you up, I know a guy perfect for you! He’s big like you.” Really? Big is what we have in common? No. Just no. You obviously do not know me. I’m better off alone. Fuck relationships.

I shouldn’t have to settle in order to have someone. I’m not picky with men or jobs or life in general. I’ve lived so much that I know what I like and what I don’t like. I know what makes my heart beat and my energy thrive. I know what motivates and excites me. Picky? No. True to myself.

Is erotic pic sharing the new mating dance? Why do guys feel the need to send unsolicited pics of their junk? It’s a penis, they aren’t exactly pretty!

I keep seeing all these essays on “How to love a…” A lot lately. While I have read each one that has appeared in my news feed on Facebook, I find that pieces of each resonate within me. This calls to mind the question, why do we need articles like this to instruct others on how to love us each individually and as a specific culture or personality?

Love stinks, let’s drink!

It’s an awesome feeling when the rose-colored glasses and blinders of love, affection, and infatuation come off and you can see an ex as they truly are. It’s empowering yet you want to kick your own ass for letting emotions glaze a facade of false images and hope in relationships.

Just because he’s a nice guy doesn’t mean I should go out with him.

What is it about a guy in a nice fitting pair of jeans and a sexy pair of boots? It does it for me every single time.

A guy who can dance to Goth and Industrial music is always good in bed, at least from my experience.

The more dates I go on the more alone I feel. I’m sinking into another rut. Disappointment is the catalyst.

Are there any good guys (with a naughty side) out there? I sure as hell can’t find one – at least one who is single. How pathetic.

Oh how I cannot wait
To be away from all
The drama and hate

I guess I’ve been a loner for longer than I originally thought. I used to think it was a recent occurrence, but no, I’ve been like this since childhood. I’ve never had issues with solitary pursuits. My imagination keeps me company most of the time. Even sitting in a crowded room, a party, or a dance club – I am alone.

For once I’d like to get a “good morning” text from a guy without a dick pic attached or something sexual being said right afterward. I’m more than “that girl”. Guys are pigs.

Life is short. And so are most cocks.