Every single Fall, without fail, my emotions start swirling around like fallen leaves caught in a brisk breeze.
There is no rhyme or reason to it all either. It’s almost as if my mind decides to take an emotional dump on my logic and reason – thus bequeathing me with the daunting task of sorting through why I am feeling things I didn’t even care about not even a week ago.
This time of year my emotions also like to rip open scars of wounds that (I thought) were healed. As if I didn’t waste enough time on these wounds the first time around.
My dreams this past week have been intense, almost lucid. I’ve even awakened from a deep sleep pounding my fists into my bed while crying or cursing angrily. I guess it is good I am single and sleep alone. I’d hate to punch a man sleeping next to me for crimes of passion in my crazy dreams.
Sadly, I cannot blame Mercury Retrograde for these intense emotions this time around – or can I? Whatever the reasons, I don’t plan on wasting my precious time dwelling on it any longer.
It is Fall after all, and so it is time to purge – I need this so I can settle into a cozy frame of mind for the darkest quarter of the year. It’s funny how I love Fall, but I struggle the most with this beautiful season of change.
Same as it ever was…
I’m a Taurus and we (normally) do not like change. I’ve evolved. I’m different. I crave and welcome it. I don’t deal well with monotony. Routine is different, and I need that in my life.
As far back as I can remember making mixtapes, I’ve always made my Fall Mood one, every single year without fail. Sometimes there are repeats of songs on each playlist, but they all have one commonality – the element of melancholy, or at least music that helps me get into my Fall frame of mind.
Like clockwork, on the first day of Fall, I colored my hair “brooding burgundy”… now it is time for the mixtape.
Here is to my favorite time of year.
And the dance goes on…
Fall Mood 2016
- I Need You – Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
- Melt! – Siouxsie & The Banshees
- Surrender – Depeche Mode
- Mercy Rain – Peter Murphy
- Everyday Is Exactly The Same – Nine Inch Nails
- Prayers For Rain – The Cure
- Dead Souls – Joy Division
- Heal It Up – Concrete Blonde
- The Killing Moon – Echo & The Bunnymen
- Cemetry Gates – The Smiths
- No Big Deal – Love & Rockets
- Dance Me To The End Of Love – Leonard Cohen
- The Point Of No Return – Phantom Of The Opera (movie clip)
- Persephone – Dead Can Dance
- Dead & Lovely – Tom Waits
- Make Me Smile (Come Up & See Me) – Duran Duran
- No More “I Love You’s” – Annie Lennox
- Sadeness (Violent Mix) – Enigma
- Revenge – Ministry
- This Corrosion – Sisters Of Mercy
- Love Like Blood – Killing Joke
- Love Hurt Bleed – Gary Numan
- I Do What I Do – John Taylor
- Rigor Mortis – A Split Second
- No Name, No Slogan – Acid Horse
- Stigmata Martyr – Bauhaus
- Mother (Maternal Instinct) – Wumpscut
- Tragedy For You – Front 242
- God O.D. Pt. 1 – Meat Beat Manifesto
- Rubber Glove Seduction – PTP
- Stainless Steel Providers – Revolting Cocks
- A Girl Doesn’t Get Killer By A Make Believe Lover – My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult
- Getting Closer – Nitzer Ebb
- I Love A Man In Uniform – Gang Of Four
- And The Dance Goes On – The Mission