Learn how to recognize the Strip Club Queen Bee in four easy steps.

• Step 1: Look for a bee larger than others in the hive.

In the strip club world, this refers to the size of ego. The Queen Bee had one of the biggest egos – one that she always swore she didn’t have – that I have ever met.

The Strip Club Queen Bee represents the epitome of narcissism; everyone from the owner to the employees and customers is deep under her spell.

She hides her narcissism well with empty words, promises and fake compliments to the people who make up her world.

Saccharine sincerity at its best.

The Queen Bee has a nice curvaceous body and maintains a good appearance, yet she can almost always be found complaining about her non-existent “back fat”. Her group of followers and her sacred court, including myself, would always oblige her and shower her with rave compliments; after a while, I found it was the normal narcissistic behavior of fishing for compliments from others.

• Step 2: Look for a bee without a barb on its stinger.

Similar to a worker bee dying once it stings, when one of the workers in the strip club goes to defend themselves, they had better make it a great last stand; afterward, just as a worker bee that can only use its stinger once, they will die by being ejected from the club. I’ve seen it happen more than I’d like to admit, even to some of her honored court.

If she couldn’t directly get you thrown out, she would pull stunts to “mark” her territory.

From literally pissing in someone’s shoes to finding a tube of lip gloss from a girl she didn’t like, taking the wand, sticking it in her “honey pot” then putting it back where she found it, the Queen Bee made sure they paid one way or another.

She even went as far as to do unspeakable things to customers she didn’t like – for instance, pissing in lemonade or on popcorn, dipping a dirty tampon in a drink, sticking a beer bottle in her ass then giving it to the customer or even wiping someone’s chicken wings with a dirty maxi-pad – they had no idea their drinks and/or food had been tampered with.

Yes, I saw these happenings and no, I didn’t say a word – as I said before, I was a mean girl for a while and dared not go against Queen Bee; the blinders were intact and I couldn’t see a way out – plus I relied on the income to live.

With no barb on the Queen Bee’s stinger, she could live on for years on end to sting others in defense of her precious throne, with no consequence.

She still reigns supreme.

• Step 3: Look for a bee that stands with its legs spread wide apart.

The Strip Club Queen Bee’s normal everyday stance is wide legged, hands on hips, and torso pushed forward.

There really isn’t a time you don’t see this Strip Club Queen Bee without her legs spread and hands openly touching her naughty bits in the club on her shift; she did this either behind the bar for all to see or at a table with customers for a private show.

She also had a very unhealthy obsession with inserting items into her nether region; friends of mine that came to the club witnessed mop handles being inserted behind the bar for all to see.

I’ve also seen her insert pumpkins with long stems, along with a multitude of other items and objects.

Aside from this being illegal and unsanitary, it was pretty disgusting.

Working there was like a train wreck – you didn’t want to look, but curiosity eventually gets the best of you because you cannot fathom the actions being performed.

There were times when she would take napkins, stuff them down her panties and pull them out minutes later soaked and put them on the bar, a table or worse – chase and threaten to wipe them on you.

I had to laugh because I didn’t know what other reaction to give my boss for such behavior.

• Step 4: Watch the way other bees act subservient around her.

This particular Strip Club Queen Bee always had her drone “wanna-bees” swarming around her; they could always be found fawning over and elevating her and her ego at any given moment.

Being a part of the Strip Club Queen Bee’s sacred inner court was intoxicating; unfortunately, I fell right in with the subservience displayed around her.

I was under her spell – of course up until a few short years ago, I also had an unhealthy attraction to narcissistic people; this is a large part of the reason I stayed in that environment for so many years.

Gifts to the Queen Bee were commonplace, all the way from dancers to the customers.

Most of the time it was the club owner rewarding Queen Bee for her daring acts of depravity; she was given expensive trips and gifts like designer clothes, purses, jewelry, and even shiny new vehicles.

It’s all a part of her narcissistic nature to garner such celebrations of vanity; she knows how to manipulate others to get her way.

I often wondered how Queen Bee’s husband felt about these gifts. My boyfriend (at that time), who originally gave her nickname of the Strip Club Queen Bee, would joke and say that it was the husband’s payment for allowing the club owner the use of his wife throughout the year. Thinking back, I think he nailed it.

Working from her own agenda to get what she wants and needs is a way of life for the Queen Bee; not only with the owner but to unfortunate gullible customers as well. She had quite the assortment of customers that bought into her pleas for money, even going as far as to promise future relationships to a few.

Yes, it was a strip club – she played her game all too well.

All good things come to an end eventually.

Queen Bees need to watch out for that moment in which they no longer serve a purpose in the hive – both literally and figuratively, especially in the strip clubs.

This Strip Club Queen Bee is fast approaching forty years old; in the past when she felt threatened by a younger, prettier girl, she did what was necessary to either quietly contain her or outright crush and get rid of her.

Queen Bee even had a few members of her court that did her dirty work for her, so she did not sully her hands with such menial work; she would sit and watch them get rid of the pretty little trouble making bees.

The Queen Bee’s luck is bound to run out; soon there will be a new Queen that will rise up and challenge her place.

When the new Queen defeats the old, that is when the drones and worker bees rise up, surround and suffocate the old Queen – commonly referred to in beekeeping as “balling”. The remaining bees then begin to train up and induct the new Queen Bee for the hive; the cycle and circle of life continue once again.

There will always be a Strip Club Queen Bee. All hail the Queen.