Coffeehouse Raw: Random Ramblings

coffee writingClear your mind. Clear your thoughts.

Writing is my own form of meditation. 

I’m in love with Dirty Chai. I love chai tea as it is, but a chai with espresso – it is a caffeinated one-two punch of savory flavor. This is my new fave “go juice”.

I love this coffeehouse. I love this town. I love sitting here writing. I love that when I’m in here my iPhone gets absolutely no reception and I end up with “no service”.

Self-imposed silent time with no disturbing distractions from technology and my life.

I hate having my back to the rest of the coffeehouse – I cannot properly observe the goings on around me, but I’m seeing it as an exercise in doing something I do not like to do. 

As open minded and tolerant as I am with lifestyles and sexuality, there are a few things that still boggle my mind.

I am caught up in being a good and somewhat proper woman and living a slightly deviant/alternative lifestyle. I am moving my life into the public eye, which means my family will learn things about me that I’ve tried to hide or cover up for so many years.

Sometimes I like to think that I prefer unorthodox relationship models over traditional – part of me feels that it is par for the course in these modern times to have the out-of-the-norm relationships, and yet part of me wants and craves the conventional monogamous committed relationship. I know why this is…

I must find a way to satisfy both sides of myself to live in harmony.

Ah ha! A new table has opened up! Time to move! Window seat with my back to the wall – nothing better!

I need to travel again – I’m feeling a void in my life not being able to just take off and go.

open closed
The other side of “Open”

I can’t be alone in silence, that’s when the mind starts to spin and twist and turn my thoughts – I need this buzz of people to silence my thoughts.

I cannot stop looking out the window in front of me… I breathe in and get lost once again in the moment.

Next time perhaps I will pack my headphones… but then I will miss the myriad of conversations going on around me. I live for this shit. I belong here.

I am so very happy and grateful that things are starting to unfold and happen for me. I cannot wait to see the great adventure that’s ahead of me.

I keep hopping from writing this to another article I am editing for re-submission to an online journal. I need to start focusing on paid assignments and start making that my bread and butter.

I don’t want my writing to end up like my photography, where I do it all for free, just for the credit of doing it. I know a writing platform is like a photographers portfolio, but I think I’ve padded it enough for now. Time to get to the meaty assignments.

The time has come to make my dreams come true. I want to be the success I have always dreamed about becoming.

I love that I am incorporating my writing with my photography – it’s double exposure. I’m glad I re-wrote my bio – it is a constant work in progress, as I am.

I wish I wouldn’t have waited so long to take the reins of my life back from my pain and depression. It’s time to make up for lost time.

I’m making a vow to get back to my art once I get settled – not just my photography and writing. I need to reconnect with my drawing and painting and fine art background.

I am going to immerse myself in the creative energies of this town.

I am home, finally.