depression life on the fly 

I’m (not) Fine.

I am here. Again. The pit of depression. Paralyzed by self-doubt. Cut off from action. Not giving a good god damn about anything. I cry but no one sees or hears me behind my closed off doors of seclusion. Thoughts of self-destruction run rampant once again in my mind. Pain is the only thing real right in this moment. Choked up with tears streaming down my face, I am a fucking mess. I gasp for air as I fight back wanting to burn or cut my flesh open. A bloodletting…

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depression life musings 

Waiting…

I’m holding on, waiting patiently for the monsters inside my head to either shut up or go away.  I’ve been religiously taking my new meds for 6 days now – a mistake? Maybe. The crying has stopped but my head is swimming. It’s funny because I do not know how to swim, only in theory – in my head. Perhaps there’s something to it because they say if you can do it in your mind the body follows. I’m tired of treading the waters of life – one big wave crashing against me…

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Screaming_Pain_by_Phosu depression life on the fly 

Depression: Excuse me while I silently scream

Being powerful and strong means having the courage to admit when things are out of control and you need help with your depression.

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