Emptiness

Today feels empty.

 

I haven’t felt emptiness like this in a while. I’m not complaining.

Maybe it’s the migraine from earlier causing this feeling, or rather an emotional void. Either way, I’d rather feel this emptiness than to have a zillion and one things whirring and spinning through my head all at once, vying for my attention.

This is the time I need to go find some balance. Take advantage of this emptiness.

Lake time, I suppose.

The sun might cause my head to hurt again, but again, rather have that pain than the trumpeting sounds of madness that normally occupy my mind.

My heart is numb as well.

The sucking void of loneliness and cold chill of bitterness resides where flowery ideals of romance used to live.

My heart has been empty, numb, and closed off for a while now. I attempted to open it not long ago before coating it in a thick layer of ice and encasing it in molten steel.

 

Hollywood sold us all snake oil with their idiotic rom-com’s and the undying hope of finding “the one”.

 

Yet, as much as it pains me to admit it, I still indulge that elusive dream and binge on the ideals of the rom-com.

Perhaps it is the hope that maybe one day a man who feels even somewhat the same as I do will find me. I’m done looking for and chasing it down — he will have to pursue me for a change.

Two imperfect yet complete people, coming together to create our own world in which to live. Not happily ever after though. I don’t buy into that. That’s the real lie.

But I digress…

I’m rather liking this emptiness today — at least for the time being as I squeeze out these words. It’s been a while since I’ve let words flow onto a page.

I prefer this emptiness to depression, yet it’s still a bit tiring. It’s like an old acquaintance you haven’t seen in awhile, but then start to realize, “oh yes, this is why we didn’t keep in touch.”

 

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