“Nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the springtime. You begin to get weak in the knees. Your head’s in a whirl. And then you feel light as a feather, and before you know it, you’re walking on air. And then you know what? You’re knocked for a loop, and you completely lose your head!”
~Bambi – Walt Disney Company
Stealing from the movie Bambi, one of my best friends and I call the end of winter and the tender beginning of spring, Twitterpated Season.
During this un-official season, guys, most of the time consisting of exes, start coming out of the woodwork and start their (mostly lame) mating (hook-up) dance. In the past I’ve fallen prey to quite a few of these lame mating dances.
Guys tend to stumble over themselves and their words, trying to be creative in their flirtations; mostly what they end up doing is inserting foot into mouth. As amusing as it is at times, it can be quite annoying – especially now that I am in a healthier place emotionally.
Never date when you are lonely, bored or emotionally unstable – it’s almost always a recipe for disaster.
With the kick-off of this year’s Twitterpated Season, the past week and a half have found me with the extreme feelings of attraction and repulsion.
It’s no secret that I’ve had quite a colorful past when it comes to relationships – I used to be flypaper for freaks. As a result of this, most of the guys I get crawling out of the woodwork are from that colorful past.
This is where the attraction and repulsion come in, and I think I’ve figured out why I’ve felt this way.
The girl I used to be is still in me because she is a part of me.
Just because we conquer a demon doesn’t mean it is gone completely – it is in fact still inside of us – we’ve just learned to tame, control and overcome it.
Because of this fact, I sometimes get feelings of attraction when these guys come at me wanting to get physical. It’s somewhat flattering — until I think about what they are truly wanting is just a meaningless sexual affair.
The woman I have become is where the repulsion comes in – and thankfully it is a lot stronger than that first feeling of attraction.
On a few occasions, I have gotten sick to my stomach when I think of these crude guys coming into my personal space, let alone touching me.
I’m no longer the lost, lonely and helpless girl who craves human contact to fill a void inside of me, or to avoid feeling pain or loneliness. I’m a strong independent woman who fills myself with love, feeds my soul what it craves and goes after my own passions to be happy and whole.
I’m not going to settle for anything less than what I truly want, need and most of all, deserve.
So a message to the twitterpated guys out there looking to (literally) charm the pants off me – sorry to disappoint you, but I am extremely happy to say I am not that girl anymore.
I’m quite content to sit this and subsequent seasons out; I can instead go out and pursue my creative passions, and that will bring more love and passion into my life than a meaningless sexual romp.
Simply put – I’m too busy “doing me” to do you.