Sentimentality & Introspection

I love the Facebook feature “On This Day”; you can go back in time and see how far you’ve progressed since the previous years. It also can bring memories back you really don’t wish to relive.

Today it is making me somewhat sentimental.

I sometimes wonder, when I look back to the days I worked at the strip club, if the girls I worked with back then, and yes, even Queen Bee, smile when they read the funny things we used to do and share together. Maybe they even miss the camaraderie we shared; that is a fleeting feeling with me.

When the girls I worked with finally leave the club, or more importantly the brainwashing sphere of influence of Queen Bee, we almost always seem to reconnect, mostly on Facebook. I get to hear how I “nailed it” with my Strip Club Follies posts. 

However, I’m not here to talk about the disgusting things Queen Bee did, nor am I here to romanticize those days gone by.

stripper-strip-club

Step into the time machine or TARDIS with me for a moment… Let’s travel back to this time in 2010. 

The wounds from my horrible break-up back in October of the previous year were just starting to heal; I was still somewhat fragile emotionally. I had my rebound guy because back then I couldn’t just be alone; I had to have someone, even if it was just sex (which it was). 

My life revolved around the strip club. I loved my job, not only for the money I made but for the relationships I forged and girls I was there for when they needed someone to just listen and see them for the beautiful human beings they were. 

Helping others helped me crawl back from my darkness.

Queen Bee was there for me through those dark days. She called me every morning as she had her coffee and morning cigarette. We met almost daily at the gym before work, taking classes and sweating our asses off. She was my biggest cheerleader in those days.

One of the funniest memories I have of those days is when I had to get my cat, Jasper, fixed. I went out-of-town for the weekend and she sent me a photo of the tip sign she and the girls made, “Help Lu get her pussy fixed!“, complete with a stick figure cat picture.

Now, remember I said I wasn’t going to romanticize those days gone by…

Back in those days, I drank almost daily, from vodka to tequila and everything in between; we supplemented with cocaine and even prescription pills on occasion. I didn’t see an issue with this behavior because I was so absorbed in the strip club life. These things also kept me in serious denial and made me numb to the pain I felt deep inside.

I look back on those days as the calm before the storm began inside my mind a year later.

I knew when and where to draw the line, but sometimes when I wasn’t looking, Queen Bee moved the line – or laid out some fat lines for us to blow in the back office. 

I’m not proud of the mind-numbingly stupid things I did back in those days, in fact, I shake my head in disgust now as I write these memories. There has to be truth to the saying “God watches out for fools and drunks” – I was both back then. I sometimes wonder how I am still alive.

However, when I wasn’t trying to run from my feelings with massive over-indulgence in alcohol and drugs, my coping mechanism was the music I’d play as a DJ.

I found solace in the pop, pop-punk, and modern rock I played for the girls. These songs still make me smile, and shockingly, I never grew tired of these tunes – probably because I attached my happiness with them. 

So, taking a break from my normal Classic Alternative and Punk music playlists, this is an upbeat rockin’ playlist filled with a music set I played back in the strip club days, to preserve my sanity. Killer dance tunes and hard-rocking songs, all with an upbeat vibe. 

Turn this one up and enjoy!

 


 

  1. Bad Romance – Lady Gaga
  2. Carry Out – Timbaland ft. Justin Timberlake
  3. Single – Natasha Bedingfield
  4. Maneater – Nelly Furtado
  5. Womanizer – Britney Spears
  6. Tik Tok – Ke$ha
  7. Evacuate the Dancefloor – Cascada
  8. Days Go By – Dirty Vegas
  9. OMG – Usher ft. will. i. am
  10. Love Sex Magic – Ciara ft. Justine Timberlake
  11. I Gotta Feeling – The Black Eyed Peas
  12. A Toast to Men (Fuck the Men) remix – Willa Ford
  13. Fighter – Christina Aguilera
  14. Hit ‘Em Up Style (Oops!) – Blu Cantrell
  15. So What – P!nk
  16. Unwritten – Natasha Bedingfield
  17. Behind These Hazel Eyes – Kelly Clarkson
  18. Girlfriend – Avril Lavigne
  19. Airplanes – B.o.B. ft. Hayley Williams
  20. Black Dahlia – Hollywood Undead
  21. Liar – Henry Rollins
  22. The Kill (Bury Me) – 30 Seconds to Mars
  23. All My Life – Foo Fighters
  24. Chop Suey! – System Of A Down
  25. Getting Away With Murder – Papa Roach
  26. When Worlds Collide – Powerman 5000
  27. Push It – Static-X
  28. Dig – Mudvayne
  29. Ghost Town – Shiny Toy Guns
  30. Welcome to the Black Parade – My Chemical Romance
  31. Take Me Out – Franz Ferdinand
  32. Somebody Told Me – The Killers
  33. Paralyzer – Finger Eleven
  34. Diary of Jane – Breaking Benjamin
  35. MakeDamnSure – Taking Back Sunday
  36. Misery Business – Paramore
  37. Miss Murder – AFI
  38. Thnks Fr Th Mmrs – Fall Out Boy
  39. Handlebars – Flobots