I’m normally a pretty laid-back and easy-going woman, but sometimes the angry, impatient, ballsy and raucous punk rock bitch I keep hidden deep down inside comes out to play.
When those times happen, it takes everything in me to not want to throat punch someone.
No, I’m not joking.
I’ve often thought about balling my hand into a fist and powerfully throwing that fist right into someone’s throat.
Anger management issues? No – only because I’ve never actually done it – but oh, my fantasy life is rich with lots of throat punches. Tons of them, actually.
I’ve joked about getting a punching bag to visualize and pretend that I am throat punching people and situations that piss me off. If I lived in a place that would accommodate a hanging punching bag, it would be a part of my every day décor.
I can see it now…
I come home after a long day of work, greet my cats, take off my shoes, set my keys, purse and briefcase down and walk over to the punching bag and let out that anger and tension.
I’d feel like Rocky taking down Clubber Lang in Rocky III.
Eye of the mother fucking tiger.
Anytime I’d get frustrated, I’d direct it into the punching bag. I would have to invest in some boxing gloves so I don’t hurt my hands, though. Come to think of it, I’m sure I’d build up some pretty nice guns too with that punching bag.
I know it’s not very Zen to harbor such feelings of frustration, anger and violence. I feel bad at times for feeling this way. I’m only human after all. At least I am voicing my concerns – in essence warning others to stay off my throat punch list.
For years I’ve used meditation to help with my depression and anxiety; while it tends to work for those things, for my frustrations, I have found that I need a more physical outlet.
I’ve read that the situations and people we are most frustrated with are real reflections of traits we have inside that we do not like. Sorry, but I’m not an idiot with horrible business sense nor am I a rude co-worker with a bully mentality. Those are only a few examples of my throat punch anger.
While writing this, I Googled freestanding punching bags. Turns out Everlast has one with gloves and instructional DVD for under $100. Not too shabby. That beats (pun?) medicating or letting those feelings stew inside.
I could always write some fiction and throw those frustrations into stories, but I prefer a more hands-on outlet for my aggression. I’d rather visualize the person and physically annihilate the feelings in a punching bag. That would feel better than killing people in a fictional story.
Isn’t it smart thinking to want to channel my aggression in this constructive way? I think so.
Yes, I think I am going to buy that set for myself this Christmas.
I will start the New Year out with a constructive way to deal with my aggression and sculpt my body while I’m at it.
That’s an awesome one-two punch.