#1 Crush Mixtape

February – that magical mystical month which heralds in the last month of meteorological winter, traditionally filled with some of the coldest weather of the season.

Isn’t it ironic that Valentine’s Day falls right smack dab in the middle of the month? 

I’m sure you’re used to my writings dripping with cynicism when it comes to that holiday; Lord knows I’ve never really celebrated the day properly. 

In the past, the only time I ever enjoyed V-Day was when I worked at the strip club – only because almost every single man who came in that day would bring a box of our local chocolatiers gourmet chocolate covered strawberries. Sometimes they brought the chocolate covered grapes or even the delicately dipped dark chocolate raspberries. Oh, and flowers too, cannot forget those – it was always a fun-filled day at the club, with good happy vibes all around.

I’m sometimes haunted by the ghosts of my V-Day’s past, but not today.

I resolved at the end of 2016 that I wouldn’t ride the “over thinking mind time machine” (as much) in 2017. So today I’m going to stick with that and drop my cynical banter, saving it for other topics like politics, because face it, this is going to be a long four years.

But I digress…

The past four and a half years since my divorce were quite a wild ride for me; even with the bumps in the road thanks to my depression and anxiety issues, I’ve made it through pretty much intact.

Somewhere along that road, I met a man who is like no one I’ve ever met before (and that’s saying something). He’s an amazing friend who constantly encourages my art; he’s become a muse for my creativity. I’m not sure where things are going, but I’m hoping for the best.

He gets me – like really gets me – and I’ve never experienced that before. This is all uncharted territory for me, and frankly, it’s a bit scary. I won’t go into any other details, aside from saying he’s pretty special and awesome – I mean come on, I’m abandoning my normal cynical banter about V-Day, so that says something, right?

So anyways, here’s a very special mixtape playlist, filled with classic alternative tracks from artists like Depeche Mode (there’s a lot of them in this one), Peter Murphy, Siouxsie, Patti Smith, and 90’s alternative artists like Smashing Pumpkins, Mazzy Star, and Garbage for my #1 Crush (you see what I did there, right? 😉 ) 

If only I had a dual cassette boom box to make an actual mixtape… Oh man, that would totally rock!

Oh yeah, if this mixtape resonates with you, as always feel free to share it with your friends and loved ones.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! <3 




  1. Because the Night – Patti Smith Group
  2. I Want You Now – Depeche Mode
  3. You’re So Close – Peter Murphy
  4. I’ll Stand By You – The Pretenders
  5. All I Want is You – U2
  6. Face to Face – Siouxsie & the Banshees
  7. In Your Room – Depeche Mode
  8. I’ll Fall with Your Knife – Peter Murphy
  9. Doing the Unstuck – The Cure
  10. Only When I Lose Myself – Depeche Mode
  11. #1 Crush – Garbage
  12. Stars Don’t Shine Without You – The Mission UK
  13. One Caress – Depeche Mode
  14. Tonight, Tonight – The Smashing Pumpkins
  15. Fade into You – Mazzy Star
  16. Shake The Disease – Depeche Mode
  17. In Your Eyes – Peter Gabriel
  18. Don’t Leave Me This Way – The Communards
  19. Violent Love – Oingo Boingo
  20. Surrender – Depeche Mode