These past few years have been a journey of self discovery for me.
Writing and reliving these memories has been no small task. I’ve already dealt with and healed from everything, but by writing them, it has helped me to put the pieces of the puzzle called my life, back together again.
Before I embarked upon doing this writing, I was restless and in need of some change in my life. I was searching for a sign, looking for inspiration from above, anything to point me in the direction I needed to go next.
Deep down inside, for the past few years, I would mention in passing about doing some form of memoir writing. I even bought books that outlined how to go about doing it. I would start jotting down snippets and ideas, but that’s as far as it ever got. I kept letting life and the drama associated with it, distract me.
One day, towards the end of June, I was doing some cleaning and “pitch n’ ditch.”
I ran across a box from my ex’s that had a bunch of stuff in it, mainly mementos from my past. One of these items I ran across was an essay I wrote in third grade. I opened up the fragile piece of notebook paper, looked at the big red “A” on the top, and read the words I put together back then.
One particular sentence jumped out at me:
“When I grow up, I want to be a writer and write things people will love to read.”
I smiled to myself, folded the paper back up and put it back into the box.
I rustled through the box and pulled out one of my first journals I started writing back in sixth grade, remembering my tender, journal writing start. The next thing I found was a folder of my poetry I wrote in high school, along with a few of my school newspapers, with articles I had written.
I smiled, remembering the fun I had writing for and finally becoming editor of, my school newspaper. I remembered telling my favorite English teacher that I wanted more than anything to be a writer. She encouraged me in my desire and would critique the stories and poems I would write, helping to make me a better writer. Her encouragement has stayed with me to this day.
I got excited when I found my folder from college composition class. I had written an essay about the desensitization of America I wanted to read again.
An envelope fell out of the folder, and in it were articles from the college newspaper I had written for that I had forgotten all about. On the envelope I had written, “My clippings!” I remembered that I was saving them for the day I would become a writer and need a portfolio of things I had written. I put the envelope aside.
I eagerly took the folder the envelope had fallen out of and pulled out all the papers, looking through the various things I had written. In there was my introductory essay for class, in which I stated I wanted to be a writer someday.
I started to reminisce about conversations I had earlier in the year with people about my discomfort in where my life was and where it was going. My answer was always the same when asked what I wanted to be doing – writing.
“You don’t need to finish your college degree to write, so what is your excuse?”, was the question posed to me when I would speak the words of wanting to be a writer. It finally hit me like a ton of bricks that this is what I needed to be doing.
Writing was my hearts desire, my passion, my raison d’être.
So here I sit, freshly turned 40, and I finally have direction; I know what I want to do when I grow up. I started writing this blog, but now it’s so much more to me than that.
Writing embodies a lot more than just writing a book, novel, memoir, newspapers articles, essays or even a blog like this.
Writing is everywhere.
Writing is powerful.
Put the right words together and writing can motivate people to move mountains, spend money, buy products or go to establishments.
I possess that power in my heart, mind and hands.
I’m choosing from here on out to use my power for good, and for those that will love, respect and appreciate the power I have.
My friends and readers, this is the puzzle piece that completes me.
I am a writer, and fully embrace all the power it encompasses. My path forward has never been clearer.