life musings on the fly relationships 

Hot Fucking Truth Manifesto

I’m so fucking tired of all these pieces I keep reading on sites about how to love this kind of person or that kind of person. I’m tired of reading about how love should look, or what to look for to find love.   Sick. To. Death. So here is my very own Hot Fucking Truth Manifesto to express all the shit going on inside of me…   I’m not looking for a man to complete me, or a man with whom our broken pieces fit together perfectly.   I want…

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classic alternative depression life music 

I’m Fine.

I’ve been wanting to write this piece for over a year now, but kept putting it off because I didn’t want to bring these realities to life, or to revisit them. After further consideration, I believe these are things that need to be said. I’ve seen the countless memes, the series of photos about mental illness in general, but more specifically depression and anxiety, and I always share them so others know the struggle – but it is just a mere glimpse into the black hole of the abyss. So here…

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life music on the fly punk 

I Could Be Wrong, I Could Be Right

rise /rīz/   verb 1. move from a lower position to a higher one; come or go up. “the tiny aircraft rose from the ground”   noun 1. an upward movement; an instance of becoming higher. “the bird has a display flight of steep flapping rises”     I’m officially on vacation from work until January 4th. I’m still waiting for that fact to connect in my brain. All I keep thinking of are the deadlines approaching the week I return to work, causing me to stress and wonder if I should work…

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depression life on the fly 

I’m (not) Fine.

I am here. Again. The pit of depression. Paralyzed by self-doubt. Cut off from action. Not giving a good god damn about anything. I cry but no one sees or hears me behind my closed off doors of seclusion. Thoughts of self-destruction run rampant once again in my mind. Pain is the only thing real right in this moment. Choked up with tears streaming down my face, I am a fucking mess. I gasp for air as I fight back wanting to burn or cut my flesh open. A bloodletting…

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depression life musings on the fly 

Sneak Attack

  Oh Depression, you sly fucking devil. I give you credit – you figured out a way to get to me this time around. Sneak attack. I know you were behind these recent events. You paralyze my reason. I’ve been living in a zombified haze of my normal self. I should have known you were holding the puppet strings, Depression. You make me hate myself and instantly regret things as they happen. I hate regrets, almost as much as I hate you. I feel so stupid for the things I’ve said…

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