A Lesson in Scrapbooking

In the early 2000’s, when the scrapbooking craze started to swell in popularity everywhere, I swore I’d never do that “suburban housewife, soccer-mom bullshit”.

It irked me when I saw the aisles of my favorite craft store grow from one side of an aisle to two full aisles, including end-caps. That meant less room for my favorite items, pushing them to condense and move them to the back of the store.

I must have softened, because back in 2009, I decided to make a scrapbook for one of my friends I shared a special relationship with – who happened to be way more than a friend, in many ways – to celebrate 10 years of fun, antics and more. I already had the book, so I figured why not.

I worked my ass off on the scrapbook, from printing photos, finding the right stickers, photo tabs, markers and of course, the perfect sentiments to include inside. It was painstakingly made of pure love and adoration. 

Months later, both proud and nervous, I presented the scrapbook to him when he came over one warm, late August night. I watched as he paged through the book; my heart felt as if it were going to burst out of my chest from anxiety, as he turned page by page through the book completely expressionless.

My heart sunk.

What made it worse was that he left it behind when he left later that evening, his excuse being he was on his motorcycle.  The me back then rationalized and like everything else he ever said to me, I ate his words for truth – today I call bullshit. What the hell was a tour pack and saddle bags for? But I digress…

The events that transpired after I gave him the scrapbook, which he finally and reluctantly took home with him weeks later, say it all. Ten years flushed into the sewers not even a few months later. I don’t believe I ever got a thank you for the scrapbook either. 

Fast forward to a month after that horrible ending…

If at first you don’t succeed, try again. I had so much stuff leftover from my failed scrapbooking attempt, that I decided to make Queen Bee one for her birthday. Even though we had only been friends for a few short years, we had tons of photos together, both at work, at play and with her family. 

When she opened her scrapbook, her reaction more than made up for the failed one before hers. She laughed, cried and couldn’t stop thanking me.

Scrapbooking was redeemed – however I wouldn’t make another scrapbook for almost three years.

That’s when I met an amazingly fun and great guy. I was with him for almost a year, so I figured why not make him a scrapbook to showcase all of our fun memories, some even spent with his son, for our anniversary.

It was so much fun assembling this particular book, since we had a more legit relationship than I had with the last unappreciative guy I gave one to.

The week of our one year anniversary I gave him the scrapbook. I was so excited and proud.

That soon turned to a sinking feeling in my gut.

I watched with horror as he paged through the scrapbook with the same lack of enthusiasm as the first guy… my heart sunk once again. I believe it sunk deeper than the first time this happened to me. He was speechless and we went to bed that night on separate sides of the bed.

Three weeks later, we broke up.

Needless to say, the third time was the charm for me. I swore I would never ever make another scrapbook again – and I am proud to say I have stuck to that promise.

Oh, and Queen Bee? A few weeks after my break-up with Mr. Wonderful, she stabbed me in the back. It was ugly.

When I packed to move a year later, I tossed all my leftover scrapbook items into the trash compactor. I wanted no more reminders of my three-time epic fail. I also didn’t want to pass on any residual bad mojo from my failed attempts to anyone else. If I could have burned it as an offering to the messed up relationship gods, I certainly would have.

All these years later, one thing really sticks with me though… just one small question for those three people who totally disappointed me by ripping my heart out, stomping and shitting on it.

What did you do with your scrapbook? Did you keep it or did you toss it in the trash? 

Not that it matters, really… as I’m sure they all ended up in the trash. 

My vow.

No. More. Scrapbooks.

Nothing ever made from the heart like that, for anyone, from me. Ever.

Lesson learned.

1. Liar – Rollins Band
2. Only – Nine Inch Nails
3. Always – Saliva
4. Black Dahlia – Hollywood Undead
5. So Cold – Breaking Benjamin
6. The Kill – 30 Seconds to Mars
7. Scars – Papa Roach
8. Pain – Three Days Grace
9. Toxicity – System of a Down
10. I’m So Sick – Flyleaf
11. The Red – Chevelle
12. Coming Undone – Korn
13. Violet – Hole