Memories Make Me Cry [poetry]

lost lover

 

Time Warp
Stuck in a loop
Close my eyes and remember
Your touch – how I want your strong hands
Grabbing, squeezing, caressing me
Once again
Our tongues dancing together
Entangled in a passionate kiss

My body still responds to your words
Even after all this time has passed
Between us
Both in other worlds now
Far from each other
But still close as ever in our thoughts
And dreams

It’s mesmerizing
Distracting
Throwing me off-balance
Even when I just think of you
How is this, still…

Wrestling with images in my head
Of us
Past, present and future
all meshing together…
Will it ever end –
or perhaps begin again?

I hate feeling this way
For you
My heart is a prisoner to the
Memories of you
Of what I thought we had
What I wished we had
And what we actually were

Which was bullshit
I settled for

No one would ever approve
Of our disjointed union
We both know this
After many years apart…
I’ve changed – but have you?
Will you be another
Frankenstein’s monster
Just like all the others?

Our lives never seemed to
Fit together in harmony
But our souls…
What a magical dance we performed
Together

Is it written in the stars?
Maybe fate bringing us another chance
To get it right

This is our karmic connection

I wait…

You piss me off
Yet make me smile
Extremes
I miss that

Perhaps I am in love
Not with you but with the
Notion of
The fantasy of
The very thought of

You

I am alone, cold
On occasion even lonely
But sometimes
Just sometimes
I feel you there, lying
Next to me
Your ethereal form
With me
Since you cannot be
With me
Any other way

But then I wake up and realize
That it’s all just in my mind

A repeating illusion that never quite leaves

Stop. I cannot take this.
Leave me alone.